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Honesty

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Honesty

Postby hardware » Tue Mar 13, 2018 11:56 pm

Does anyone else get the sense that many women aren't actually willing to say how they feel about circ status? I mean really - so many women won't give a definitive response. I can't believe that this many women literally have no opinion. I think there is some of the "I don't want to hurt any feelings" going on. For me, while I enjoy a large clit, I definitely prefer small labia minora - just not a beef-curtain guy here. I'd love it if women would actually state an opinion without worrying about hurt feelings.
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Re: Honesty

Postby Cufflinks » Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:25 am

I think we need to take into account that our perspective on this, as circumsexuals, is extreme. Our absolute focus of sexuality, on a checklist from 1 to 10, is the circumcised penis in first position, then nothing for a while, and then, who knows, big boobs at number ten.

And therefore, our perception of what a woman should be saying is distorted. A normal woman will be noticing so many things about us at the same time, all of which are sexually arousing to her, that the one thing we care about the most is simply not taking up as much space on her mind. She's probably also taking in our aftershave, how the beard stubbles feel on her breasts, the location, the dinner earlier that evening, the clock on the mantelpiece, you name it.

But we are constantly waiting for "the word." Given how many things she may be alluding to though, that's like playing the lottery. It may never come. The competition is too big. With our high and tight circ focus, we are up against far more common things she may actually have knowledge of. That's probably the curse of our fetish - there needs to be knowledge. That's not likely going to be there in women with little experience, and even with the experienced ones, the issue is that an erect penis will look so much the same circumcised and uncircumcised that it may simply not register due to lighting conditions and other priorities.

I have found that woman-initiated circ talk will usually happen when there is a situation in which she notices the penis in its flaccid state. They will always be fascinated by what it looks like flaccid, because of the size difference, I have noticed. They're all like "wow, I can't believe how much bigger it gets!" And when they see it small, that's when the visual difference between circumcised and uncircumcised really plays out, and it's also the time to play the aesthetics card, because that is clearly when we maintain full glans bling, while the competition is down and out in burrito territory with their unrefined shlongs.
:D
And as for being "honest" then, female side, I've been getting a lot of good feedback. Usually things like "you have a very nice thing."
Honesty can of course also mean criticism. But what's to criticise on someone's body? I only had one encounter where the lady was a nurse and said it was a pity they had to use sutures, because it leaves suture marks. That was as close to negative as I ever got, and it was, of course, honest.
Some people’s opinion one simply cannot change. Mine, for example.
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Re: Honesty

Postby snoman » Wed Mar 14, 2018 4:13 am

Very hard to add to what Cufflinks has already said. Women are usually not nearly as visually stimulated by the same things men are, and from what I've been able to tell from conversations with many girls over the years, the penis is generally regarded as a particularly ridiculous looking, if not completely unattractive part of the male body.

They may prefer to look at a circumcised one, but for most women it doesn't do much to elevate the penis from it's 'ugly' status. It's still unattractive, just less so.

Hardware, I know what you mean. I really do. I think most of us on here would have a hard time accepting that circumcision is 'neither here nor there' to many women as an issue, when it's such a focus for us. I've come to accept it on one level, yet on another, I still find it hard to believe. I had one partner once say to me (after I kept bugging her to tell me what she 'really thought'...

"It's like you're asking me if I'd prefer you any more or less if you were left handed instead of right. That's how unimportant it is for me."

I've spent some time looking at things in my own life I'm completely ambivalent about, just to try an understand this a little better. The best I can do is whether I drive a manual or an automatic car. Living in Europe, I have a manual. All but one of my cars has been a manual. I have a slight preference for an automatic gearbox, but only if you hold a gun to my head and order me to choose. I'm more than satisfied with my manual car. I like it a lot. I chose it. We match well... I don't spend hours wishing it was an automatic. That's a pretty poor analogy I know, but if it's the way I feel personally about the type of car I drive, it might be the way many women feel about the style of penis they have.

We all have preferences but how big a role they play for us is a very personal thing. I like small perky nipples on a woman. If I hooked up with someone with huge puffy areolas it might put me off a bit but I wouldn't throw them out of bed for it, and if I had amazing chemistry with that person, my preferences don't seem to matter as much. For someone else, it may be a bigger deal.

If you read my story 'Ella' on the Wix page of this site, that was a relationship I inadvertently ruined because,in my youth and inexperience, I just couldn't let the "I don't care" attitude go. The girl I was seeing (the eponymous Ella) had never seen a foreskin before mine, and I was convinced she didn't like it. She was puzzled by it and wanted to know more about it, but she never outright told me she didn't like it. Once, we had a situation in my apartment where we both caught my flatmate sleeping naked, and noticed he had a (huge) cut cock, and it really seemed to turn Ella on. She instigated some circ themed sex play almost right away, which turned me on incredibly, but afterwards left me convinced she wasn't happy with my own penis (after seeing my flatmates huge piece i wasn't happy with my own junk either!). To this day i have no idea if she was just playing or if she was serious about the things she was saying, but I let it get in my head and it drove us apart as a couple.

I regret that to this day, because she was an incredible girl, but I learned from it and after that, as much as my inner voice would say "she must have SOME preference", I learned to accept what my partner was telling me. Of course there were some girls who were very in favour of circumcision and told me outright, but when they said "don't care' I usually left things alone.
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Re: Honesty

Postby Cufflinks » Wed Mar 14, 2018 1:42 pm

Very well put, Snoman.

Alas, it just dawned on me that we have so far really only discussed women's lack of interest in the matter in general - but there are those with firm opinions on circumcision, too. And perhaps those few are the ones we should focus on for the sake of this thread?

In that case, we are into the very alluring scenario "intactivist women versus circumsexual women." And they do exist. I've encountered both types personally. But they are rare. Let's see if I can remember the most honest things they said to me at the time:

Anti circ women:

"I prefer foreskin because I actually have a chance to get a guy off manually."
"I like that animal scent sometimes."
"The glans equates the clitoris, and should not be exposed."

Pro-circ women:

"It allows me to be more spontaneous sexually."
"The appearance gives me a thrill, because it seems sexually suggestive and ready at all times."
"Without a foreskin, blowjobs and penetrative sex will simply be the best he can get. That makes me feel more appreciated."

Like I said, these were the extreme cases. Women who actually did have an opinion on the topic. I can accept both points of view, but of course only one of them will actually arouse my interest... and more.
;)
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Re: Honesty

Postby hardware » Wed Mar 14, 2018 1:54 pm

I certainly get what both of you are saying. Here's the thing though, there are any number of discussion venues where women, particularly North American women, express some pretty strong preferences. You can easily dig up topics along the lines of "should I ask my BF/fiancee/husband to get circumcised?" and most of the responses are to the effect of "never - you should just accept him as he is."

The thing is, I'd have at least been receptive to the conversation from any of the women I've been involved with. I'm sure there is a minority of uncut guys who would hit the roof, but for me, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate actual open conversation - in fact if something about me bothered a SO, I'd absolutely want to hear it. My feelings don't get hurt that easily. I have these issues with my wife now - she will hint around at things, often so subtly that I have no freaking clue what she is talking about, rather than just saying "Hey, would you mind..." At the end of the day, it just leaves her frustrated and me confused. Maybe it's just me...
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Re: Honesty

Postby Cufflinks » Wed Mar 14, 2018 3:03 pm

Well, here we go, I think the issue simply cannot be forced. As much as we would like to, because it is everything to us. I suppose it's a bit like some 12-year-old GM geek obsessing about the thought "would space aliens prefer a Camaro or a Trans Am?" It cannot be done. Women usually do not inhabit the same world of values as do we circumsexual men.

Yes, some will share our values, and perhaps for reasons that are quite close to ours - but in the end, we have to come to the table from opposite directions, as men and women, with our specific perspectives. And they will differ.

That aside, I do think it would be worthwhile to foster some kind of heightened circumsexual awareness, to help the world accept that there is a type of man out there who wants recognition based on having a modified penis, which he is proud of. And it irks me that there is so much vilification of our kind going on on the web right now, using the old crybaby scheme to get clicks. It creates opinion - and leads to honest women saying things we may not like to hear.

So, even if a woman were to be perfectly honest to me today about her appreciation of circumcised penises, if it's anything but rabidly pro, I tend to think she has been influenced.
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Re: Honesty

Postby P51Geo1980 » Sun Jun 17, 2018 1:49 pm

I don’t think that it’s that they don’t have an opinion, I think it’s that they don’t have a strong opinion. Before my circ women never seemed to care, none mentioned it, and it wasn’t a deal breaker. My wife has a slight preference but not enough to have asked me to get circumcised or for it to be a deal breaker. And I had to really really REALLY push her to admit her even slight preference.
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Re: Honesty

Postby bellend » Mon Jun 18, 2018 5:53 am

In my experience those who do express a preference are those most concerned with hygiene generally. It is usually a significant minority.
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Re: Honesty

Postby JakePeters » Tue Jun 19, 2018 5:19 pm

bellend wrote:In my experience those who do express a preference are those most concerned with hygiene generally. It is usually a significant minority.


I think the idea of a circumcised cock turning a woman on because it's circumcised and looks distinctly circumcised is not far-fetched, but it's something that is buried in the subconscious. It's like something you feel, but can't quite intellectualize. Also, they wouldn't have a reason to explain it.

I mean you have women who will say they prefer cut, but they'll say it's because it's cleaner, but rarely few will use specific words to describe why a circumcised cock is something they like over an uncircumcised cock.
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Re: Honesty

Postby brexiter » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:09 pm

Most girls here in the uk don't really give a shit. However..... some do express a preference for circumcised willies. And a lot dislike poor penile hygiene with regard to the smell and taste of foreskin
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